"Team Perkis"

The two of us have some great conversations via text.

I've collected a few that I think the rest of you will appreciate. Enjoy.

This occurred after Emily's inhaler arrived in the mail.

Some of you may know Emily's Facebook was hacked by cyber bully's who claimed that Em was stranded in the UK and needed 1,500 big ones. The very next day they hacked her E-mail too. Oh and on the off chance you didn't know already, Em's password for everything has been catsrule for the past 13 years.  Also, currently Emily's nails are glow in the dark green.

 

I think my instincts were spot on for this one, sadly we didn't go.

What this one is missing is a time stamp. 1:30 am

"Madame!"

Tuesday, like most other days, was a day where Morgan gave me the blank stare and constant shaking of the head. It all started when we met in the library to do homework, resulting in nothing getting done. Morgan, our friend Logan, and I are sitting in a booth working when Morgan says, "You know what I want to make so bad tonight?!" My response, "Love?" (with a point of the thumb to Logan). Her head shot straight to the table. Morgan then informs me of a dinner the relief society is putting on that night at 7:00. Free food... say no more. We enter the church doors and our sense of smell guided us to the activity (at this time I told Morgan that Anna, Karli, and I once found a cookie factory by smelling out the car door window). The inappropriate laughing throughout the dinner all started when the relief society president asked our roommate Alyssa if she knew how to, "tickle the ivories," while doing piano playing motions with her fingers. The laughing continued with Morgan and I piling food onto our plates with Anna in complete shock, "Save some for the others!"

Alright, time for a side note from Morgan. Let me start by saying I am incredibly confused as to why I am contributing to this post. Emily, however, INSISTS that I talk about the sweater she was wearing this day. So basicly, Emily refuses to post this blog until I add a paragraph about her ridiculous attire. Confused? So am I. Well here is the run down, Emily was in a forest green sweater approximately 15 sizes to big for her adorned with a logo in the upper left corner that said something like "Camp Hope '92" This obviously rose a few question. Emily's explanation was simple enough, "Well this morning, before I drove back to Logan, I went down to a closet full of clothes my dad doesn't wear anymore and put this on." Lemme get this right, today you made the conscious decision to wear clothes that your dad won't even wear anymore, for the entire day, including school, work, and now a relief society dinner? To top if off she kept expressing how terrified she was that her dad was going to find out she was wearing it. So obviously she wants me to blog about it on the WORLD WIDE WEB. Sometimes Emily makes no sense to me, back to her story...

It didn't help that the girls sitting across from us were watching our every move. At one point they said, "You girls are hysterical!" During the dinner I turned to Anna and told her an embarrassing story that had happened to me that day. At the end of the story I said, "I swallowed my heart and it came out my butt!" Out of the corner of my eye I saw one of the girls across put her hand over her mouth and whisper to her sister, "she just said I swallowed my heart and it came out my butt!"

For those of you who know me I have what we like to call a "honk" laugh. To our surprise there is a girl in our ward with the EXACT same laugh. It was the shock of a lifetime to be the person on the other side and hear that. What must people think of it in public places? Anyways, that night we discovered that her name is also Emily... surprise surprise. When I heard her laugh it made me honk laugh and Anna said it sounded like a pig at the slaughter house. That comment shot both of us over the moon. What made it even worse is we then turned and looked at Morgan who had some how managed to get rice in her eyebrows. Only to discover it was just particle's from the hanging decorations above her head. Those balls of yarn had been swinging across her face the entire dinner.

"I don't know brainiac, its your backyard too!"

Today, while we were at the library, Emily started reading me short sentences, such as; She quickly ran down the stairs. And then would ask me, okay what was the pronoun in that sentence? She? Okay great, S. What about the adverb? Quickly? You sure? Alright, Q. Long story short when I figured out that Emily had no idea what a pronoun, adverb, adjective or noun was I had to excuse myself from the library I was laughing so hard. Two real life direct quotes, "Noun: person, place, thing, or idea. How the heck am I suppose to know what that is? That could be ANYTHING!" "Okay Morgan stop showing off how smart you are."

Some days college can be really hard. 

 We also had quite the adventure today. Logan told us there was free pizza in the Eccles Center, you better believe we weren't going to miss out on that. Well we show up and it is some convention for summer sales. The place was a total tool shed, we were the only girls there and everyone was pimped out in their AMP, Pinnacle, and Vivint gear. I would bet serious money that at least 75% of the people in attendance drive white trucks. Whatever, we'll do anything for free food so we grabbed our pizza, pulled up a chair, and enjoyed the show. 

 Highlights included: Logan's face when he hear that the average rep makes 40 grand their first summer. Luckily I was snapping a shot right when he heard this bit of information. 

Also, the European WNBA player that quit playing ball to do summer sales, "It was a great decision." Seriously? This is what the American dream has become? Summer sales?

 Let us not forget about the fact that the speaker called Emily and myself out for laughing when I pointed out to Em that his fly was down. Yikes. 

If I learned anything from this convention it was that "The Man" is for sure the two most annoying words anyone could ever repeat over and over, and over.

And a quick side note, on the walk home we simultaneously slipped on the ice, hard. If we wouldn't have been wearing backpacks we would both be unconscious on 800 North right now.

"Nurse Judy! I think I have a problem with my siotic nerve."

Today, like most other days, Emily got sick. She asked me to go with her to InstaCare because she was positive she had a fever, so off we went. Once we arrived the nurse came in and checked her vitals.

And wouldn't you know it, this chick doesn't even have a fever. The moment the nurse leaves the room I started hassling Emily about how it is all in her head and she is not sick. 

She didn't like the sass I was giving her. "It is not in my head, I am sick! Just you wait, if it's strep throat I swear!" Once me and Emily had exchanged a few more sharp comments the doctor came in. He gets right into it by asking Emily about her symptoms, she explains all about the congestion in her nose and headaches.

"How about any coughing?"

"No I haven't been coughing at all."

"So it's all just in your head then?"

Emily's faced dropped and she shot me a look that seemed to say, how could you and the doctor be turning on me like this? How did you get him on your side?

The doctor then waits a second for Emily to reply but after a few moments of silence he says, "The congestion, it's all just in your head then?" As I watched relief flood over Emily's face I couldn't contain myself. I mean there I am sitting in a doctors office with Emily as though I am her mom witnessing, what is now, one of my favorite Emily moments. Unbelievable. 

Once that fiasco was out of the way the doc got out his stethoscope to listen to Em's heart beat. Once the stethoscope is placed over her heart, right on cue, she takes a deep breath in and out. Even the doctor smiled at this, then moved the stethoscope to her back and asked if she would go ahead and take a deep breath again. Oh Emily, thinking the doctor was listening to her lungs through her heart. 

Nothing left to do now but run a Strep test, the extreme gagging noise Emily made when they collected the culture will haunt my dreams tonight. 

 The test was run and confirmed, this little lady has Strep. When she found out she threw her hands in the air and reclined back in her seat, "You have got to be kidding me!"

"You'd make a fine little helper. What's your name?" "Charles De Mar." "Shut up, geek."

We're back! Back in Logan that is and doing our best to be sociable but end up only having conversations about food and how we are going to treat ourselves... fat gurl's 4 lyfe. Last night Morgan told me she started her "Wok on Wheels" fund again. Oh how I will never forget the night we paid a "Wok on Wheels" employee 14 dollars in loose change we found in our rooms. I remember we were 2 dollars short of what we needed, Morgan (with so much hunger in her voice) turns to me and says, "Use your damn 2 dollars you won playing Mario Kart!" It was a sad but honorable day to see those 2 dollars go. Anyone want to try to take me in Mario Kart? I'm a Bateman and we can't be beat.

New Year's Eve at Classic Skating. Yes... Classic Skating. Sorry for covering your face Bobbie, unintentional.

A Beautiful picture Morgan captured of us trying to take a decent picture but those dang skates wouldn't let it happen. Simply Corey, this picture makes me laugh til I cry.

Memorable Quote from New Years Eve.

Chad Hogan: "Logan Let's watch a rated R movie!"
Logan Anderson: "No."
Chad Hogan: "Just close your eyes when it swears."

"Nuff said!"

Ya know we could talk about our personality's, style, and future plans but as Anna Campbell says it best, "Booorrrrring." Here are some videos (courtesy of Karli Davies) to help explain what big goof balls Morgan and I are. Mind you the video of Morgan was created last year in college when she started a relationship with a fanny pack she scored at the D.I. and mine is from High School. Morgan's got a nice behind and well... let's just say it took me a while to come out of my awkward stage. Dang short hair.

"You'll shoot your eye out!"

Merry Christmas blog friends!